When my wife and I just started to date back in the early 2000's. Being an insecure/immature boy, I wanted to be with her all the time. That sounds very sweet and intimate until she's suffocated and wanted some personal space. I didn't understand why. I thought if you love someone, you would want to spend time with him/her all the time. Needless to say, we got into some argument. It is funny now when I look back to those moments. It's ok, you can laugh at me, I know I was acting very childish. However, Betty told me something I still remember today. She said to me "you need to give me some space and time to miss you!".
This summer, my wife took the kids back to Taiwan to visit her parents. I am staying here at Seattle due to work and business. A life with 3 kids makes alone time very precious and rare. I am not going to lie, I feel free and excited for my alone time here. Not only do I get to create more art and contents for people, but I am also free to go anywhere I want at my own pace. I took the advantage of this freedom and traveled alone to Victoria, BC last week. It was an amazing trip and I enjoyed every moment of it. I got to really explore the surrounding and did some plein-air paintings like the ones here. However, after all the fun activities I planned for myself, I started to feel this subtle ache in my heart. It's a bitter-sweet feeling that's very hard to describe. Well, in simple words, I miss my wife and kids. But the experience feels like a journey in my own heart. I walked out of the hotel around 11:00 pm and just walk slowly along the pier. With very few people around, I started to replay the time we spent together here as a family. I traveled back in time in my mind right there and then. And suddenly in the middle of the night, I heard the laughter of my wife and kids. I saw my kids ran towards the ice cream stand and looked at me with puppy eyes. And the warmth of my hand as I hold my wife's. It all played out like a movie as I pace along the street.
After the walk, I went back to my hotel room with that sweet ache still lingering. I had clarity again of who I am. I was reminded how loved and lucky I am. A thousand miles of distance set our bodies apart, but our hearts closer. Isn't it amazing how our minds work? Human probably has the most complicated and intricate memory system. We can immerse ourselves in our memories and experience things again. What’s that special place for you that holds the key to some of your most beautiful memory? Whatever it is, embrace that sense of longing as a gift. Even if it gets a little bit painful at times, you will find your self in the midst of it. And that is beautiful.